Big Decisions

After considering it for awhile I decided to take a break from school this term and not register for classes. I kept feeling like I was in school for all the wrong reasons, not because I wanted to but because my family and my husband would be disappointed if I decided to quit. The truth is, I haven’t been happy, committed or interested for at least a year, with the exception of my term abroad and seminar classes. Turns out, I’m silly for making assumptions and both my parents and Ryan are very supportive of my decision. Turns out, they just want me to be happy! (I can be clueless sometimes)

So in the next 4 months I’ve decided to continue to work and focus on my physical and emotional health. We booked our flights for our honeymoon in May, and my goal is to be in the 190’s by then. This is a big decision I know, but it’s the first thing I’ve done in a long while that is really for me.

I’m excited for the months to come.

Avoidance

Today is the last day of classes for the term, I still have 2 papers to finish and hand in and probably won’t do so until mid next week. Instead of getting up early and to work on them I slept in, watched ANTM (not proud of this) and did some reading for my last International Development seminar tonight.  I still haven’t exercised in over a week, and I’ve got a feeling that tomorrow’s training session is going to kick my ass.

I’m hoping getting my term paper back in class tonight will give me the confidence to just finish these damn papers. That’s assuming I do alright on it, but I did work very hard and I generally do pretty well when I put effort into something. Isn’t it amazing how the two correlate? I say this sarcastically of course.

I DO have to ability to pull off good grades when I try, and the same thing goes for healthy living. When it’s important and I try my hardest, then I see results, it’s not exactly rocket science. So why do I avoid doing what needs to be done? Push my responsibilities aside for immediate gratification and self-indulgence? It’s like a part of my brain shuts off.

My biggest life goals right now are to lose 100 lbs and get an honors degree before I turn 30. I’ve been avoiding and postponing both for so long and I’m running out of time.

What was the kick in the ass you needed to get moving on your goals?

Paper writing break (a few thoughts on food and poverty)

Even though I’m going for a work out break in 30 mins.

Today has been fantastic. Despite feeling kinda sick and blah in the morning, I took a shower, did my hair and makeup (it’s amazing how good that can make you feel) and went to my class. I ate really well: Cereal for breakfast, rice noodles, veg and chicken for lunch, big salad for dinner and a soy latte (with no added sugar) for a pick me up in the evening. I was also productive at school for once and am really getting into the paper I’m writing.

Some of you may know that I’m in Development Studies, which is hard to describe when people ask me what the heck it actually is. Basically I learn about poverty, social and political issues in the global south and study theories and practices that are designed to fight those issues and improve quality of life around the world. It’s really interesting but depressing as well.

Throughout my studies I’ve become very interested in agriculture and food production and how it relates to poverty and development, particularly in Africa. I hope to learn more about this first hand when we travel to areas outside of Johannesburg in May, since reading about it may be one thing, but seeing it gives you a whole new perspective.

One thing that I believe has also given me new perspective is this health journey I started in January. Being part of this tumblr community, learning about health and food choices has really made me consider branching into nutrition studies to understand more about the nature of food and the importance of food security all over the world. Poverty and hunger are important, interconnected problems that even I forget about when I’m obsessing over calories and fat content. So I’m going to make the effort to think about where my food comes from every time I feel the need to overeat or snack when I’m not hungry and remind myself how lucky I am to have access to food in the first place.

Work out schedule for the week.

  • Monday: Personal training session
  • Tuesday: 1 hour cardio (split between bike/elliptical)
  • Wednesday: 1 hour cardio (same) and abs
  • Thursday: Break
  • Friday: Personal Training session
  • Saturday: Bike Ride? Walk/Run outside?
  • Sunday: 45 mins cardio and abs

Despite my insane schedule for school, I am determined to get 6 days of exercise in this week. I think it will help keep me focused and less stressed out about all the work I need to finish.

I am also going to set my alarm for 6:00am each day and see if I can get going to the gym early. It’s pretty much the only spare time I have, and as long as I go to bed early enough, why waste it sleeping?

Retail Therapy

One week of school left! How did this happen? I’ve been procrastinating as usual on the last two assignments that are due on the last day, I should really get off the internet and get them finished. Instead of writing this afternoon I went to an academic advising appointment and found out that some classes I thought I needed to graduate don’t apply to me! It makes picking classes for next year much easier. I’m going to take a bunch of development seminars and history classes!

After the meeting I decided to walk to old navy and get some spring clothes. The walk wasn’t bad, aside from the seriously muddy roads with no sidewalks. What’s with campus having hardly any sidewalks? If I want to walk to see Ryan at work, I need to walk on the road or on the muddy gross grass. *huff* Anyhoo, I love old navy in the springtime. They always have fabulous linen pants and shirts and pretty sun dresses that make me wish it was summer. I spent about $200, which maybe should have gone in my travel fund, but my brithday is coming up and I wanted to treat myself.

I bought this cute dress and these pants

This lovely shirt

aaaandd a bunch of other stuff…

I really enjoy shopping! It’s tough sometimes when my weight fluctuates so much but new clothes always make me feel better.

I’ve decided to restart Weight Watchers. I’ve had enough of my lame excuses. I’m going to change meetings since the one I used to go to was overcrowded and I never felt truely comfortable.

That’s all for now! I’m turning 26 next week, wish me luck! (I’m afraid)

Procrastination (imported)


Yeah, I’m in class right now. I really can’t help how bored I am, really. It’s kind of painful how dry the material is. Maybe I should stop brining my laptop so I’ll pay attention more. We will be moving onto development theory soon, so at least it’s applicable.

I was at work last night until 10:30ish, helping set up for christmas stock. It seems weird to have all the holiday stuff out so early, but that is the nature of consumerism these days. It does however get me into the holiday spirit which may not be a good thing. I shouldn’t be thinking about holidays when I have so much work to get caught up on. These past few weeks have been hard, school wise. I’ve been having trouble getting motivated to do all my readings, to go to class. Being sick doesn’t help. Right now I’m pretty sure I have a fever but I forced myself to go to class anyway, FYI: I am writing notes inbetween blogging so I’m not tottally slakcing off. She likes to go on tangents. We are learning about the EU now. Seems like this class is review of all the other classes I’ve taken so far.

It’s bloody cold in this classroom. My hands are freezing, also my nose is tottally running so I’m that annoying person who keeps sniffing every 30 seconds in class. bah